He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You can't special order awesome
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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