dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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