Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
