I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
