I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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