I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
