so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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