they need to just BURY HIM!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
