Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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