My balls are so social today.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
