I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I want her autograph on my taint
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
