i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
