but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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