We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We left an ass print on the piano.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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