did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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