he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
