I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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