I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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