she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
