Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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