Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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