Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
