she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
