then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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