:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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