As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
