Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So much Jack, so little girl.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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