i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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