Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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