I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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