I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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