I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize