so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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