This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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