Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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