grandma shit on top of the toilet
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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