when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
