hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My vagina just clenched in fear
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
