apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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