4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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