sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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