Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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