I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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