Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
