is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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