Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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