She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
