Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
