you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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