this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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