we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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