i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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