Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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