i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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