My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
