Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
