either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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