you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Drunk is a universal language darling
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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