I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize