so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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